Hey guys how is everyone doing? The reason for this post is that I remember in the beginning of Law and Order SVU, the first season, Mariska Hargitay's character Det. Olivia Benson said something that stood out to me for a long time. Some victims of sexual abuse caused by a father or uncle may cause the victim to seek love in older guys because they long for that fatherly figure that they lost because of the abuse. Well the reason why I write this is because for some reason I like older guys. There are two guys that I was attracted too and they are almost twice my age. I am 25 years old and they are 40 years old. Do you see my point?
SO my thing is this; does my abuse has to do with the fact that I am attracted to older men? My stepfather was my abuser and he also raised me since I was 3 years old. My real father was hardly around even though he came every week. So my father was around much and I got molested by my stepfather. Maybe that does have to do with the reason why I can not like guys my own age. I mean now I am starting to like guys my own age but at times I find it hard. Maybe I am seeking that fatherly love that was taken from me.
Please comment if you want to answer this. I would greatly appreciate your advice and wisdom.
I see what you are saying, but I'm not sure what the answer is. I do know that my husband is 17 years older than me, so it might be that I'm attracted to older men, too, although before marrying him, I did date guys who were closer to my age.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to know sometimes which things are "side effects" of the abuse, and which things would have been that way anyway.
I know as a victim of abuse, you tend to look for that male role model because you lose that from the person who abused you especially if they are your father or uncle or someone close to you. I dont know. I mean I dated guys my own age too. I dont know. Maybe it has nothing to do with my abuse.
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