Hey my twitter friends and blog readers. Sorry I haven't been posting as much as I used too. I have been busy with school and planning things out for my wedding. I have been blessed with an amazing man and I thank God for him. I love that he is so supportive and wants to protect me from harm. He wants to hurt my stepfather for what he has done to me. He wants to beat him with a bat. I don't want my stepfather to die, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I do want him to suffer. I want him to suffer how he made me suffer for years.
To those who are new to my blog and do not know my story I will talk briefly about it...
Well when I was younger, I don't remember the exact age, but it was around 9 or so, I was being molested by my stepfather while my mother was home. She didn't know anything. One of the first encounters was when I was sick, while my mother was cooking, he decided to rub vapor rub Vic on my back and chest. He then started rubbing my nipples with his hands. Since I was sick and young, I didn't think anything of it. Its not until I got older that I realized what was going on. Another incident again had to do when I was sick. My mother and one of my aunts went to Florida to visit my older sister. I was left with my older brother and my stepfather. I was sick with bronchitis. My stepfather again was taking care of me. I was sitting on the couch under my blanket and my stepfather came in and gave me my medicine. He then started kissing my lips. I was scared and my body seemed to enjoy it but I didn't like that. I wanted to scream but I was scared and frozen in fear. I feel disgusted on how my body reacted. He tried to bribe me with snack and junk food and since I was young and sick I let it happen. I then went to the bathroom and he followed me to the room. He pinned me against the wall with my back facing the wall and moved his body back and forth in a sexual motion against my body. Its like he was having sex with me with clothes on. That was one of the worse things ever and one of the memories that I still struggle with. I remained silent for over ten years. I am 26 now. I began to open up April of 2011 through my original blog. If you want to see the post from there, here is the link tara-nosilence.blogspot.com. At that blog you can see more of my story. I also grew up around domestic violence. So I had a rough childhood. If you want to know more. Check out the originally blog.
I also have been doing very well in my healing process. I think I can say that I am completely healed because I don't cry anymore when I talk about my story. I still deal with flashbacks and triggers but it is not as bad as when I first started speaking out. There is hope for healing so don't give up and keep sharing your story and using your voice. If you have any questions or want to know more you can check out my blog, leave a comment, or email me at tclara87@gmail.com. I will be more than happy to answer any questions.
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