WHY COULDN'T I GET HELP? WHY COULDN'T I SPEAK OUT BEFORE? WHY DID I STILL LET THE MAN THAT ABUSE ME STILL TOUCH ME? WHY DID MY BODY DECEIVE ME AND LIKED THE TOUCH? WHY? WHY? WHY?.......................................................
These are questions that I constantly ask myself. I still can't find all the answers I need. I never went to therapy which probably could have helped. It took me over 10 years to finally speak out. I spent those years denying what I went through. Why couldn't I tell my mother every time she confronted me? I didn't have the courage to stand up to her and tell her. Now its too late. She has a heart problem and if I put her through that stress something could happen to her and I don't want to have that blame or guilt on me. This is hard at times. I feel like a child trapped in an adult body sometimes...................
WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?.................. IS ALL I KEEP ASKING MYSELF!!!!!
It is not too late for therapy. You need it. Please believe me. I wasn't brave enough to go to therapy until I was 40. I had never talked about it before! I'm now 46 & still in therapy. I have a long way to go, but it has been EXTREMELY helpful.
ReplyDeleteI know its not late for me to get therapy. I just cant afford it now. I think I will be ok. I have support from friends and all so I think i'll be fine :) Maybe someday I can go to therapy.
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