Thank You..

I would just like to start out by saying thank you to all my supporters and fellow survivor sisters for helping me through my own healing process as I help you through your own. I am always here to help encourage you to seek help and justice even though I couldn't receive my own. I didn't have a support system like I have now. If I had someone when I was going through the abuse, I would have spoken out and seek justice. But I didn't. Not even my own mother. She is still with the man who molested me and almost raped me. I say its rape because he pinned me against the wall and moved his body back and forth as though he was having sex with me but with clothes on. You know that is the only memory that I struggle with til this day. That happened over ten years ago. How can someone do that to a child? Why? What is the desire to make them hurt a child or woman? How can people be so sick? Can anyone answer these questions for me? I haven't had a trigger in a couple of days. I am still healing. Its hard to heal from something so awful especially since I locked it away for many years. It wasn't until last year in April 2011 that I began sharing my story. I found survivor through the Joyful Heart Foundation Facebook page by Mariska Hargitay. Through those survivors I found friends who believed my story and helped me through my healing. Through them I also found RAINN which is another organization that helps survivors and victims of sexual violence. They have an online hotline and a number you can call. They also helped me through my healing. I am grateful that I found people who are very supportive. Without them I wouldn't have been able to share my story or my voice.....


So I encourage other women to speak out. I encourage others that if you see a child being harmed, speak out and get help. Don't hold it in. Fight for the children. I made a choice a year ago when I started speaking out. It is hard for me to do at times but I need to speak out about it in order to heal. If I can help other I will keep sharing my voice. I am no longer ashamed of my abuse. Even though my body betrayed me I did not enjoy it. I hated it. I wished it did not happen. I hate that I struggle with my appearance at times. I hate that im afraid to be in a relationship all because of what happened to me. But I know through my healing I will be ok. It takes time but I will be ok. SO CAN YOU. YOU WILL BE OK. I PROMISE. SPEAK OUT. DO NOT BE AFRAID. OUR ABUSERS WILL NO LONGER HAVE CONTROL OVER US. I CHOSE TO BE A VOICE FOR SURVIVORS. I WILL NOT STOP. I STAND UP FOR JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here are the twitter names of the organizations I mentioned
Joyful Heart Foundation @TheJHF
RAINN @RAINN01
Mariska Hargitay @Mariska