Happy New Year!

Everyone out there always has a new year resolution. It is to either lose weight, get a better paying job, getting a house or new car, etc. I normally do not make resolutions because I know that I will not stick by it. On that note, I will say that this year I would like to try and work on things that have hindered me in many ways. First of all, I am very insecure when it comes to certain things. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I was physically abuse by my mom. She always like to hit and hit hard. I was also bullied all the time in school and at home. Every time I would come home upset because someone hurt my feelings in school, my mom would just tell me to suck it. I dealt with a lot of trauma growing up. I know trauma is a rough word, but some people experience Growing up, there was a lot of yelling going on in the house. I am 32 years old and I do not deal well with confrontation. I cry if someone gets loud in my face. It brings me back to my childhood. I am also a mother to a 2 year old boy and I find myself constantly yelling at him. And I really don't like when I do it.  It's just I feel overwhelmed and frustrated all the time when I am alone with him. My husband works full time and I work part time and I also recently just started online college to get my degree in Early Childhood Education. I want to be a teacher. I love kids. I am also getting my assistant manager position back. So I will be jugging a little extra things this year but I want to be able to focus on myself and not on the things of my past. I don't want to always play the victim card, not that I do all the time, but I want to move forward with my husband and be the best wife and mother I can be. Yes I was sexually abused, I was physically abused and even mentally abused, but I refused to let that continue to take hold of my and keep my down. I want to get over my insecurities. My only goal is to be a better everything and not allow anyone to tear me down.