Hello my fellow survivors and twitter friends who read my blog. I realized the last post was in November and its been about 4 months since I last posted anything. Like I wrote in my last blog I have been dating this great Christian man who loves me and wants to help me get through my triggers and flashbacks. I am not sure if I mentioned this on my last post but I am getting married this year as well. My fiance is from Michigan and I will be moving there for the wedding. I live in NJ at the moment. He came to see me for the week of Valentine day and he proposed to me a few days before Valentines day. It was great and I am so happy.......
I know as a survivor it is hard to trust a man with your heart because you have that fear of being hurt or abused again. You carry along all the emotions and memories of what happened to you during your abuse. I have that problem sometimes while with my fiance. But I thank God that he hasnt left me and wants to be there for me when I am going through my triggers and flashbacks. The reason why I am sharing this again is because we as survivors can regain our lives back. I used to be this quiet little girl/teen/young adult because I was carrying such a huge, deep, dark, secret that was eating me up from the inside and I had no one or anything to help me get it out and get through it. My abuse started when I was younger. I cant remember the exact age that I was but I know it was less then maybe 10 years old. I am 26 now. So for over ten years I had carried that huge secret, which was me being sexually molested by two family member and almost raped by one of them which was my stepfather. When I first started sharing my story to anyone, it was around April 2011, and It was on Facebook. I found the Joyful Heart Foundation Facebook page and started to interact with some of the other survivors. I didnt know about the Joyful Heart Foundation until I saw that Mariska Hargitay was on twitter and it said she was the found of the JHF. So I did research and saw that she is so involved with survivors. I thought it was great since I am a huge fan of hers. Any way I started to interact with a survivor on the JHF Facebook page and I shared my story with her and she showed me alot of compassion and love and told me that I am not alone and that there are many others out there who have been through the same things. So from that moment on I create a blog to help me share my story to others That blog is still open but I havent posted anything in there for a long time so I created a new one which is this one right now. But you can still visit the old blog which is tara-nosilence.blogspot.com. You can check that one out to see how far I have come in my journey. The point is that its a process, you see I started the journey once I began sharing my story which was in 2011, its been three years since I started that journey and it was recently that I can actually share my story without crying so much about the pain I was put through. It still hurts and I do get emotional still but unlike before that I couldnt handle it, I can handle it better now. The thing is that we can all get through it with the help of fellow survivors and with organizations that specify in this area. There are many foundations out there and some of them are Joyful Heart Foundation, nomore.org, RAINN, and several others. But those are the ones that I help and are involved in. Get the help that you need. Talk to RAINN, they have online chat rooms that can help you through everything and anything, find friends that you trust and talk to them. I never sought out therapy and in some ways I wish I could have but I am a Christian and my God is my healer and my therapist and everything above. He has given me freedom and peace from everything I been through. I know not all of you believe in God so I cant force that on you. But to me He has helped me by bringing great friends into my life to help me through my journey and by bringing me a man who accepts that part of me and is willing and wanting to help me get through it even more. You can too have that same peace if you find someone or an organization to help you through your journey as well. My point to all of this is that if I can make it through even though I doubted sometimes, you can make it through too. We are strong together. We can continue to make a difference by sharing our voices and spreading awareness to others about abuse and about getting help. Lets continue to help these organization by saying #NoMore to abuse, #NoMore Victims, #NoMore!!!!!!! We are the voices, we know how it is to go through something horrible. We can be the light on these issues. All we have to do is have courage to share our voices and our stories and everything will be ok. You can do it. Have faith. You can make it through.
The organizations I mentioned can be found on twitter and here are their twitter names...
Mariska Hargitay who is the president and found of the Joyful Heart foundation @Mariska
The Joyful Heart foundation @TheJHF
nomore.org @NOMOREorg
RAINN @RAINN01
Follow these organizations and many more.
